Think about the last time you called the help desk. Did you need two hands to count the number of acronyms used?

I was in danger of failing the class. Plus, he made me feel stupid.

It’s only when he began to teach theory using everyday examples, like pizza and beer, that I began to grasp the concepts. (Not that I am a fan of either.)

The very thing that inspired (or didn’t inspire) the aforementioned Temple University economics professor’s pedagogy is alive and well in some of the folks who staff your corporate IT department.

In a recent post, TechRepublic head blogs editor Toni Bowers explains that knowing how to explain jargony subjects without jargon encourages IT/business alignment, which, she writes, is becoming increasingly important with the growing reliance on fewer workers for the same amount of work, social networking and Web 2.0.

Think about the last time you called the help desk. Did you need two hands to count the number of acronyms used? Did you walk away feeling empowered? Will you be so quick to call back when your Excel formulas rebel?

I doubt it. And that’s the point: Alienating the rest of your company is not alignment. To paraphrase Bowers, understanding how technical tools and practices relate to the business as a whole, now that’s an idea.

And regarding that macroeconomics class – I passed with a perfect grade.

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Chances are one of those stereotypes will bother you. And they should.

A recent post in TechRepublic titled “10 Habits of Superstitious Users,” which lists the most common irrational behaviors of average help desk callers, reinforces those stereotypes.

It’s like turning a hamburger back into a cow.

(Maybe I’m a crazy liberal, but I don’t think jeering at people who know less than I do is fun. It does nothing but widen the divide between the help desk and its customers.)

TechRepublic’s article includes a host of behaviors, including refusing to reboot, excessive fear of upgrades, kneejerk repetition of commands, magical thinking, attributing personality to a machine, believing that computers are possessed, and more.

The issue of rebooting is probably the most irritating — for both consultants and callers. While a consultant may perceive a caller’s refusal to reboot as laziness or irrational fear, the caller may think it’s a consultant cop-out, that he cannot think of anything better to try. If a consultant takes a moment to explain why rebooting can solve a problem, the caller may follow his advice.

The point here is that a concept that may seem clear to one may not be to another. For example, based on the universe of data mining we conduct here at PC Helps, a common request is to convert PDF files back into their original formats (Excel, PowerPoint, Word, etc.). Callers believe it’s as simple as clicking a button, but it’s not quite so easy.

One of my colleagues explains the process to his customers this way: It’s like turning a hamburger back into a cow. Using humor and layman’s terms, the consultant gets his point across in less than a dozen words, none of which are tech jargon. The result is a more pleasant exchange, and a caller who just learned something new. (Jen Darr)

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You had better get it together. The heavies are starting to weigh in.

Resistance is futile, says one CIO. The iPhone is the most popular handheld device available.

Last month, Forrester Research released findings from a study that said IT departments are moving closer to supporting all mobile device platforms. Although BlackBerry (upwards of 60 percent) and Windows Mobile (40 percent) still take the lead, according to the study, one out of four companies now supports iPhones.

The only thing holding the iPhone back from catching up is its so-so security, which remains a big concern for CIOs. (There’s also that pesky issue of AT&T’s spotty coverage. But that’s for another time.)

Security doesn’t seem to be the main issue if you look at the results of a recent TechRepublic poll, which asked 300 CIOs if they support the iPhone, and their reasons for doing so or not doing so. TR editor in chief Jason Hiner posted the results on his blog and the findings have at least one common thread: The iPhone is still viewed as a personal “gadget,” and thus has no place in the enterprise.

Among the CIOs who said they do support the iPhone, the device’s potential to increase productivity was noted. One CIO pointed out that use of the device by traveling execs has decreased VPN support considerably. Another IT manager gushed about how the iPhone is less of a support hassle than other mobile devices.

By far, the two best quotes in Hiner’s piece are:

1. “We have found that resistance is futile. The iPhone is the most popular handheld device available. It has the best mobile browser and our sysadmins say it is a great device for remote systems administration.”
2. A second CIO stated that his company’s move to support the iPhone has resulted in a “decrease in the perception that IT is a wet blanket that is an impediment to the use of consumer-friendly products.”

Keep in mind, however, that supporting mobile devices such as the iPhone will not be without a few headaches for your IT department. According to a March 2009 study conducted by Zenprise Inc., downtime will be a key issue as the use of smart phones in the enterprise increases. (For more on downtime, read “Going Mobile.”) Because the majority of users are higher-profile employees, such as senior and middle managers, the downtime has a greater effect on the bottom line.

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Training and support transform smart phones from “fun toys” into powerful business tools.

The most recent is a witty report published by TechRepublic, titled “IT Budgets: How to waste money.” The nine-page report offers 10 tips on effective money-wasting, including doling out too much money on energy, unnecessarily purchasing new hardware, and spending too much on travel.

All of the tips are worth a look, but here are a few we’d like to amend/elaborate upon:

Spend too much on mobile technology. Yes, spending too much on mobile technology is a waste of money – when you don’t show your employees how to get the most out of it. Training and support transform smart phones from “fun toys” into powerful business tools. Write that down.

Hire full-time employees when contractors would be more cost-effective. We’re taking liberty and renaming this suggestion: It should read “Hire full-time employees when outsourcing would be more effective.” We know outsourcing is a sore spot for many workers, but consider the following scenario: Your company is migrating to Office 2007, and you are expecting a deluge of calls to the help desk, thanks to the radically changed interface of the new version. Do you hire new IT staffers and train them on Office 2007 or do you find an outsourcer/migration partner to do it?

First, consider the cost of hiring new employees, plus benefits, training and overtime. Secondly, can you afford to hire enough Office 2007 experts to cover a company-wide migration? And what will you do once the migration is complete and call volume diminishes? Fire them? A migration partner has trained experts, who are there when you need them, even after-hours. Best of all, you won’t have to do any icky firing.

Make unnecessary upgrades. The upgrade itself isn’t the problem; it’s what your company does or doesn’t do with it that can create waste. If you simply upgrade without offering complementary training, then, yes, it’s waste. If you show your employees how to harness the new software’s power with training and support, well that’s just plain smart. (Jen Darr)

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To be fair, Dray has written pieces in the past that stress the need for better understanding across all company departments. That’s partly why this post miffed me so.

Would you ridicule a CPA because he couldn’t hold his own on the trapeze?

Some people may find poking fun at hapless end-users amusing, but the joke’s getting a little old. It widens the divide between the help desk and company employees, and only serves to further diminish the help desk’s level of respect.

One of Dray’s top 10 is a user forgetting that he changed his password. People forget passwords all the time, especially when they must recall dozens of them on a regular basis. Come on, Dray — cut the caller a break; he’s probably doing the job of two employees now that we’re in a recession.

If Dray treated that caller the way I suspect he did, by reminding him that he changed his password on Friday last and maybe even throwing in a sigh, the employee probably will think twice about calling when he has another issue. Instead, he’ll ask his colleagues for help, and they might not know the solution. He might even devise a clunky workaround, one that puts company systems at risk, or takes him twice as long to complete. How much is that costing the company in the end?

Dray cites another favorite: Once, an employee asked “Are you updating the Internet? I can’t get into my e-mail.”

This may seem inane, but not everyone knows what an exchange server is, or even exactly how the Internet works. All they know is that if e-mail is down, Internet access may also be down and vice versa. They know this for sure: They need to get their work done, and they need e-mail to accomplish the task.

Think about it this way: Would you ridicule a CPA because he couldn’t hold his own on the trapeze? I don’t think so. (Jen Darr)

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In a recent post on TechRepublic, Calvin Sun offers 10 tips on the subject. Here are three that warrant elaboration:

Less Imaginary Widgets, More Genuine Examples

If one of your employees is fumbling with the Access sample database “Northwind,” it’s no wonder. How invested is he, really, in Raclette Courdevault and Geitost*? Give him something that is familiar, like an actual database from your company, with products or figures that have relevance.

If you took a three-day course on jet propeller engine repair, would you submit your resume for a job as an American Airlines mechanic?

“If you can relate to the material you’re studying to something in your own life, your retention will be greater,” writes TechRepublic’s Sun.

Long Distance vs. Sprinting

Sun explains how people are more likely to retain information that is learned in small chunks over time than what is studied during marathon cramming sessions. We know this. We’ve been told at least once in our lives not to cram.

Yet, in the case of Office 2007 migrations for example, employees are given mini courses or just PDF cheat sheets to learn a software suite that is radically different from previous versions. Do you think your employees are going to remember that the chart options have changed in Excel 2007 if they learned it upfront but create only one chart a month?

Use It or Lose It

If you took a three-day course on jet propeller engine repair, would you submit your resume for a job as an American Airlines mechanic? Apply that same logic to standard corporate training courses. While you have given your employees initial training on applications, you cannot expect them to walk out of the classroom as experts.

Still, some companies leave employees to fend for themselves after initial training. On a recent call to PC Helps, the customer wanted to know how to search two Excel worksheets for duplicates. Worksheet One contained 30,000 rows of data; Worksheet Two had 16,000. A consultant showed her how to use a nested formula. The employee was elated, and confessed that she was about to manually vet the data – all 45,000 rows. That’s hardly efficient. It’s an avoidable tragedy. (Jen Darr)

How do you promote efficiency in your office? Tell us in comments or send me an e-mail.

*Raclette Courdevault and Geitost are two products sold by the fictitious Northwind company. The former is cheese that is melted and served over boiled potatoes with lots of ground black pepper – big in Switzerland; the latter is Norwegian dessert cheese that must be sliced paper-thin. But I had to look that up.

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